Sharing Your Testimony

Wow, I didn't realize it had been over 2 years since I had written in this blog. I had completely forgotten about it actually until I had a desire today to write a blog.

My thoughts today are focused and centered on the church and its use of the Internet and today's technology. I spend a majority of my personal study time now going through the church's websites that they have, watching the videos they create and post and reading general conference talks. It all seemed to have really begun with the Mormon messages videos they created, now they have a youth website and of course the Mormon.org videos of people sharing their conversion stories and testimonies with whoever will watch and listen.

And as I was doing this in particular today it really dawned on me how incredibly spiritually powerful these resources really are. And helped me gain a greater appreciation for church attendance as well. I thought about my mission as I listened to young missionaries from the Provo Missionary Training Center (MTC) sing powerfully 'Hark All Ye Nations' (while watching a general conference session online). The spirit stirred up powerful feelings in my heart as a flood of memories and gratitude for my mission came pouring into my mind.

What I realized is that hearing others testimonies, thoughts, insights, and comments is one of the most powerful teaching environment the Lord has created for us. And not just in regards to things spiritual, but in regards to obtaining our education and our work environments. We learn so much from one another as others share what they know and what they have learned. This is why it's so important to attend church, and obtain our educations. And this is why it's so powerful to surf the church's websites and read and watch and learn from others. It creates an atmosphere of powerful learning and where the spirit can engrave knowledge and principles upon our hearts and inspire us as we relate to others and realize, 'hey I'm not the only one who feels or thinks that way.'

I encourage all to spend more time listening and paying attention at church. Turn off the cell phones, put away the iPads, cut out the tic tac toe game with the person next to you and really listen, not just to the person speaking or talking but to the spirit, and miracles will happen. And use this powerful tool the Lord has provided us, the Internet, for good. Visit the websites and learn from others experiences and testimonies. Feel the inspiration it will give you and add to your pool of knowledge.

lds.org
generalconference.lds.org
youth.lds.org
mormon.org
jesuschrist.lds.org

Small and simple things....

Well long ago before I went on my mission while growing up in the Aaronic Priesthood I was very blessed to have an amazing Bishop! He patiently and willingly put up with us in so many meetings and activities, I really admire him for that, especially now as i look back and reflect on those days, haha. Anyways I wanted to just share something he really taught us all collectively as a group and something that has really stuck with me over the years! One of his goals as Bishop was to have the priesthood body as a whole to at least have the scripture mastery references memorized! Of course us young'ns all huffed and puffed and were upset at having to show forth any effort towards anything those days, haha....

So we went through those over a couple of years, but there was one in particular that whenever we went over it, he always talked about it and shared his testimony of its truthfullness. That is Alma 37:6 "But behold i say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." I still remember even though I didn't really want to memorize things or listen and was more interested in just chatting with my buddies near by, I still remember the spirit i felt and the sincerity he expressed when he would talk about this principle.

So I really began to understand this principle while being on my mission. Missionary work isn't sparatic spurts of going down into a subway and hollering at everyone to repent, and then 1,000 are touched by the spirit and get baptized the following weekend. I'm not in any way trying to limit God's powers, for I know that anything is possible with Him.

What I'm saying is a missionary does not simply do that once or twice a year then call it quits. No, its a constant "battle" of getting up every single day when your dead tired, spending 30 minutes exercising every day, studying 2-3 hours every morning while trying to fight to stay awake, then spending the 10-12 hours the rest of the day walking running and talking to every soul around you, patiently enduring the harsh things they may say or even the simple rejection of those you felt were ready to hear it. Being a strengt and inspiration to your companion when he is struggling and inside you need the same thing to sustain you and keep you going. Its ALL of those small and simple acts day by day that you do that bring about the miracles. That show forth to you heavenly father your love for the people and your willingness to do whatever it takes for Him to do the work you can't do and for Him to provide those who are ready to hear the gospel.

I could go on forever of miracle after miracle that I witnessed on my mission from me just trying to do my best, and the Lord always providing. And its funny, when those miracles come, you don't even feel like its anything that you've done that brought them to pass, because it really isn't because of anything that you do. You could do something so hard for so long, like lets say tract for hous and hours, and you might never find someone for weeks and weeks, and then all of the sudden because you just put forth that effort the Lord says "oh here you go, this guy who just walked into church this week is prepared." And depending on your attitude you might get frustrated and ask WHY did we do all that work, or you simply step back and think for a second, and a smile comes to your face so quickly as you ponder the lords mercy and infinite wisdom, of how hes teaching you EVERY moment of the day all through our lives, if we but pause and listen and reflect and remember whos in charge!

So I listened to a talk on my mission in one of my areas that really touched my heart. (I'll post a link to it at the bottom if you're interested in reading or listening to it.) So time goes by and didn't realy think much about the talk or the fact that I listened to it. Now i'm home from my mission, and I was offered a promotion at work. And I ended up not getting the promotion even though I was offered it, because of my schedule not being able to work with the promotion and going to school. And when I found out, my first feelings weren't a rush of anger and being upset at God and wondering why that would happen if i'm trying to live the life he wants me to, especially going to school and trying to educate myself to be a better employee and have more work available to me. (Emphasis on the try, i'm not perfect by any means or trying to imply that i am) Yes I was frustrated and hurt, but I simply shrugged it off,as the spirit spoke peace to me and brought the words of this talk back to me. It was something so simple as listening to a talk on my mission, but it brought about something great to me in my time of need!

(I included a portion of that talk)

"You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what He ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than He does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that He knew best.

I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and clipped it back until there was nothing left but stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it and smiled and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush say this:
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”

Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. The one man between me and the office of general in the British Army became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner.

I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the general, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for 10 years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.

Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and on his desk, I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly, and went out.
I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure.” When I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.

And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have Mutual. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their singing:

“But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.”(Hymns, no. 270)

I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to Him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.

Many of you are going to have very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, God is the gardener here. He knows what He wants you to be. Submit yourselves to His will. Be worthy of His blessings, and you will get His blessings. "
-Hugh B. Brown

So i know everything will work out, i'm not worried one bit, and thats an amazing feeling, to just have peace even though you don't really kn0w whats going on!

So this all seemed to come to me as I was getting ready for work yesterday, there is an employee at work I really enjoy working with, he is a good man, I've tried to share the gospel with him, and I felt like I needed to give him a book of mormon. I didn't really feel like writing my testimony then, but I decided to heed the prompting and sat down and started writing, and thought about all the what ifs.....Like what if he doesn't look at it or want it, or something like that. And then the spirit seemed to speak to me through Bishop Smith's memory in my mind, "By small and simple things." I have no idea what may come from this, all I know is that if heavenly father prompts me to do something, then doing it will bring forth blessings and fruits later on!

Don't try to live a life full of complications and what not, just simply live by faith doing all of the small and simple things the savior taught us, and the things our living prophets, seers, and revelators teach us. I have a testimony that it will bring about great things!

(if you want to listen to that talk)
http://www.ldsvoices.com/index.php?id=29

A day off work.....

Well after a crazy weekend of chaos at work due to the panic of Hurricane Ike I was very relieved to know that i would be off work today, I usually wake up at 5:30 am every Monday to get to work , get off at 3, then head to school at 5:30. But I got to sleep in a bit and enjoy the morning and afternoon! I just hung out around the house all day mostly, I did some cleaning up around the house and organizing in my room, which believe it or not i really enjoy those moments. I find them a great time to reflect on things going on in my life and to just have some peace.

For lunch I made myself a nice little sandwhich while I did my English homework. I had to prepare my outline for my upcoming paper I'm writing on diminishing the disadvantages of automobiles. I did what I could and had my private tutors (my parents) give me advice and help me edit it. They're great and help me more than the realize, they are very wise and give such good advice. Always have about any aspect in life really, i just never really wanted to listen in my teen years, haha. Later on I went to pick up my sister from high school, I drove a truck a member is selling that I'm checking out to possibly buy it. And then when i got home i did some studying of the gospel to prepare a family home evening lesson, which was on chapter 3 in Preach My Gospel. I then finished up revising my outline grabbed a bite to eat and headed off to school. English class went well, she had us all write out outlines up on the board and she critiqued them in front of everyone, so that was kind of nerve racking.

When she got to mine, she got to the last section and didn't really understand it at all, and as i tried to explain it she still wasn't getting it, haha....so i guess i need to do some more revising and whatnot, just kind of frustrating to be the only one in the class that she was really confused about. Oh well....didn't matter because after that it was onto humanities, she had already graded our papers! I was excited to see how i did on it, since it was my first college paper! To my great surprise i received a 100 on it!!! Wow!!! What a great blessing that was, and very encouraging after the frustrating English class, haha.

Then i headed home, with the windows rolled down really enjoying the beautiful fresh cool air from today. It was so beautiful and amazing outside today! What a blessing that was. When i got home i was able to have a good discussion with my mother about things going in my life, about things that I'm praying for or praying for guidance about. I'm a bit confused on several things, but she gave me some good advice and counsel. I just get frustrated with situation where i felt i was prompted to do something or talk to someone and nothing seemed to really come from it, so i think i just need to develop more faith in those situations, knowing that i may just simply not be able to understand or see what the purpose of that certain situation was with my "natural eyes." Not to say i don't trust the whisperings of the spirit, that's not the case at all, I've just come to learn that as you learn more and more about the promptings of the spirit and as you pray more for them, and as you strive to follow them, its just a big learning process. The holy ghost really is a master teacher, and I'm just a mortal imperfect being right now who is trying to learn day by day. So I'm grateful for the Lord being merciful enough to allow me to have those promptings, i look forward to many more and to learning day by day from the holy ghost.

At the feet of a servant of the Lord.....

September the 14th of 2008 in Allen, Texas was a very special day! We had the special blessing of having a member of the first presidency from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints visiting our stake! We arose early this morning, I got up a little late due to not getting to much sleep the past couple of days. Which frustrated the family of course because we were trying to get to the chapel early enough to get decent seats knowing that many many members would be arriving early for the same reason. Despite my tardiness we still got to the chapel about 5 minutes before they opened the doors.

There was a line outside, how odd it must have looked to non-members, "wow those Mormons love church so much they even line outside the door to go to church." There was a rather long line on both entrances, they slowly began to let us in as the doors were opened, then of course someone opened up the back door and people that had been waiting since 7:30 or earlier to get in probably got seats in the back while those who snuck in through the back door at about 8:40 were sitting up in the front. So it was a bit chaotic before the meeting began. In a sense it made me very grateful to have already had so much experience being in the presence of General Authorities so much on my mission so as to not freak out in a sense that he was coming. Don't get me wrong I didn't take such a special visit for granted and quench the spiritual experiences that come with such a visit. It just reminds me of how people are around movie stars, not knowing how to be human all of a sudden when a person of such fame is present, which is really just disrespectful when it comes to someone like this. Anyways maybe it also helped that I was in the choir, and being so i got to sit on the stand for this meeting. We had a half hour practice beforehand, and then all of us sat on the stand eagerly awaiting his arrival.

As our stake president popped into the chapel everyone's heads began to pop up and look frantically, because he was the one driving him to the chapel. But no one came in after him, then he went back into the hallway. After a few moments and a couple of other people coming into the chapel and onto the stand President Uchtdorf walked in. I stood immediately as did our stake presidency, soon everyone was standing. I tried to imagine what these men think when they walk in and immediately have the respect and attention of all those in that room. It must be a combination of feelings, an overwhelming sense of humility to see so many faithful latter day saints who are willing to listen and do whatever he might say at that very moment. He had us all sit down, and we continued for a few moments to listen to the prelude music and ponder and prepare more for this special meeting.

Our stake president stood and started the meeting by instructing us and announcing the next few speakers. With President Uchtdorf was Elder D. Chad Richardson of the seventy who gave a wonderful talk. One thing my father pointed out that struck him about his talk is how he related a story about the brother of Jared to us and before he did so he used the phrase, "As I was reading in the scriptures this morning," to which my father applied the thought, "Think how early we got up to just come and see them, now think of how early he must have gotten up to not only prepare and travel to get here today but to be able to still have time to study the scriptures." We also have the son of the Houston Texas temple president in our ward, and he had been evacuated due to the hurricane, so he was asked to share his testimony. Something that he said really hit me, "It's one thing to know that the Savior lives, but its another thing to KNOW Him." How true and powerful this statement is. There are many who profess that they are saved and that He lives and many things like this. But it is entirely different to KNOW Him, which occurs when we not only gain a testimony of His existence but when we apply the things that he taught us into our lives.....when we are not just saying "Lord Lord" but doing His will (Matthew 7:21).

As President Uchtdorf got up to speak, I was expecting his visit to the Allen stake alone, not being broadcasted to any other stake, to bring a split to the stake or something to that nature. I was wrong of course, as he stood and taught and counseled us on the things we must be doing in our lives. He took the for strength of youth pamphlet and his temple recommend from his wallet and told us that all of us should carry these 2 things in our pockets. That if we follow the path given in the for strength of youth pamphlet that it would lead us to the Temple. He also taught us that when we pray we should share with our Heavenly Father our gratitude for those whom we love in our lives, especially in our family prayers and with our spouses, and then to express why we are grateful for them and why we love them....and promised us that it would strengthen and sweeten our relationships. He also told us that we should all have Preach My Gospel and that we should study chapter 3, and that if we did "the light will return even brigther." The light being the spirit, the peace, the joy, the love which comes from studying and applying the gospel in our lives. He ended with his testimony, many things were said but what struck me the most is something our home teacher asked if we noticed or caught that he said it. "I know that He lives, and I know Jesus Christ," President Uchtdorf testified. "Stand up for the truth, walk tall...your concerns will be resolved through faithfulness in Christ." What a blessing it is to learn from these servants of the Lord. They are examples of those who have truly consecrated their lives to the gospel and to the Lord. I love them all so dearly. How grateful I am for my mission every day of my life. For teaching me to respect and honor the things these men say. As I finally learned what the Lord meant when He said, "Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same." (Doctrine and Covenants 1:38) I've received so many answers, I've received so much peace and comfort, I've received so much instruction, and I've received a stronger testimony and deeper conversion as I listen to these brethren counsel us at General Conference or in meetings like this. At work I have the opportunity at times to be in the safe counting things I need to, and most of the time I have my iPod just playing random music, but when I have time to be in there for awhile I usually switch on past conference talks, I feel so many sweet whisperings of the spirit as I do, and I receive so much more strength in my life to keep going and to strive to be my best everyday and correct myself and do better. In a couple of weeks I will have the great blessing of going to Utah and attending conference and to hear in person these brethren speak in the conference center, to which I look forward to gratefully and am very excited about. And yet at the same time I marvel at the thought that its amazing to think that I can feel the same power and spirit of these talks as much as I can in the conference center or from President Uchtdorf at our stake center, as I can while in the tiny safe room at my work. That's what its all about, not having the perfect seat or getting there before everyone else, but that we come prepared living worthily to feel the whisperings and promptings of the spirit, to receive guidance in our lives from the Lord's servants, and from the Lord himself as we sit there.